because of the tender mercy of our God,
   whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
   to guide our feet into the way of peace

Luke 1:78-79

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Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you.
Psalms 86:11

little children

I love love love love how simple-minded kids are. not dumb simple-minded, but just SIMPLE simple-minded u know? ahaha

I'm at a Starbucks right now.  This is the only Starbucks in Riverside where I feel like I'm not in the middle of a complete desert. It's actually really nice here at the Canyon Crest Plaza.  There's fountains and lots of trees and sometimes, they have live music outside. Anyways, next to this Starbucks, they have these fountains where water squirts out of the ground (like the ones at Universal City Walk) and I watched these kids (2 boys and a girl) laughing hysterically while running through the squirting water. Not just hehehe laughing but ROLLING ON THE FLOOR laughing. Like I'm-laughing-so-hard-I cannot-breathe laughing.... at water squirting out of the ground................ they're so simple.  So easily pleased.

I'm pretty sure they're siblings because the three of them looked so alike. Anyways, the older boy accidentally got some water in the girl's eye and she started crying and yelling "stopppp!" to her brother.  Then I looked a way for a split second, and I hear them laughing again chasing each other.  If only we could easily forget how someone has wronged us like she did..... SO SIMPLE.

Child-like hearts. That's what we all need.  We wouldn't be so bitter with the world and complaining all the time if we had child-like hearts.  We wouldn't be so caught up in our emotions and would be able to hear what God is trying to reveal to us in those circumstances because obviously, he's not trying to reveal to us the hurt.  There's something else there, we just can't hear it because all we're thinking about is, me me me.

"At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure."
Matthew 11: 25-26

UNprivatize

I write a lot of posts and make them private. I don't know why. Anyway, here's one from 05.07.10..

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It's so easy to forget God when everything is going well.  You forget who carried you the whole way to this place.  And now I'm too comfortable.  This is a dangerous place where you start believing that you brought yourself  here and then you begin relying on yourself.  You don't feel the urgency to spend time with God anymore.  You seek comfort in other things and find yourself in, what appears to be, total control of your life when, in reality, everything is running amuck. I must admit, I am in this place right now.  Yes, I'm still doing my devos and I go through all the motions but I see myself losing heart in everything that I'm doing.  I don't want to be here.....

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast sprit within me.  Do not cast me not awayfrom your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a spirit to sustain me.

Psalms 51: 10-12

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It's been about two weeks since I wrote this post and I find myself in a place of TOTAL UTTER desperation for God.  I admit it. I need Him and I cannot do anything without Him.  It's funny how God really does answer prayers. I prayed for God to take me out of that place of comfortability and God did just that.  DAHHHH....

I remember when I first became Christian, I would be scared to pray those kinds of things because I was afraid that God was going to take away things I really wanted to keep in my life and honestly, I still find myself being very hesitant of praying those kinds of things. But WHAAAATTTTEVERRRRRRRRRR, dude. Just let go and let God.  

I really am realizing what it means to lay down my life completely for my God.  I think I've been half-assing it this whole time. It's still a struggle and I know it will never stop being one.  But I will fight this good fight because I know it will totally be worth it.

Game face ON.

POSERS

It's a gloomy afternoon and my roommate, Sharon, and I are sitting at our kitchen table attempting to write our papers....

Sharon (with earphones in both her ears):You know, I'm actually not even listening to anything..........
Becky: O.O?! what...?
Sharon (with earphones still in both her ears): Doesn't it look like I'm listening to music????
Becky: what a poser you are..

Are people REALLYYYY listening to music when they have their headphones on??

what a bunch of posers........

fyi: I dont really remember how our conversation went so i elaborated just a teensy weensy bit. I guess I'm a poser too. & I DONT KNOW why im writing a blog about this....sorry to have wasted your time if you are reading this.

At your feet, complete

...
And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete
...

Starfield-Unashamed

Love

Love is not only a feeling. It's action.