UNprivatize

I write a lot of posts and make them private. I don't know why. Anyway, here's one from 05.07.10..

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It's so easy to forget God when everything is going well.  You forget who carried you the whole way to this place.  And now I'm too comfortable.  This is a dangerous place where you start believing that you brought yourself  here and then you begin relying on yourself.  You don't feel the urgency to spend time with God anymore.  You seek comfort in other things and find yourself in, what appears to be, total control of your life when, in reality, everything is running amuck. I must admit, I am in this place right now.  Yes, I'm still doing my devos and I go through all the motions but I see myself losing heart in everything that I'm doing.  I don't want to be here.....

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast sprit within me.  Do not cast me not awayfrom your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a spirit to sustain me.

Psalms 51: 10-12

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It's been about two weeks since I wrote this post and I find myself in a place of TOTAL UTTER desperation for God.  I admit it. I need Him and I cannot do anything without Him.  It's funny how God really does answer prayers. I prayed for God to take me out of that place of comfortability and God did just that.  DAHHHH....

I remember when I first became Christian, I would be scared to pray those kinds of things because I was afraid that God was going to take away things I really wanted to keep in my life and honestly, I still find myself being very hesitant of praying those kinds of things. But WHAAAATTTTEVERRRRRRRRRR, dude. Just let go and let God.  

I really am realizing what it means to lay down my life completely for my God.  I think I've been half-assing it this whole time. It's still a struggle and I know it will never stop being one.  But I will fight this good fight because I know it will totally be worth it.

Game face ON.